No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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