she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
