Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize