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My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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