I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
