He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
