she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
