batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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