you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize