If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Randomize
