Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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