If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize