I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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