careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
