Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
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I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I am naked and annoyed.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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