so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
