i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
