my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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