I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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