The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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