For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
