I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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