Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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