shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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