I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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