You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
