dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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