I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
