all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
