He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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