you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
