Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
