Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
