Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize