Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
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