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yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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