did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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