My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
