Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it glows. i had to have it.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
