i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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