Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
