If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
