He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
