He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
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my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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