can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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