I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
