is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Such a big mess for such a small penis
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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