bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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