Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
