I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
