my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize