Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I came so hard my ears popped.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize