the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
