Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
