I think im going to throw up on grandma
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
