So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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