Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
