i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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