I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
