How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
